Give or Take

This time, I am talking about the friendship. In any kind of friend relationships there is something we concerned quite a lot - How much I give, and how much I can take from You?

(I get these from here)

There are four levels of friendships, which normally established inapparently throughout the friendship cycle, which involve specific freedom and responsibilities.

The Friendship grows and matures.

1) Acquaintance

This is characterized by occasional contacts - at work, or at a gathering. At this stage, we engage in a brief conversation with the person we would like to know better, and then we decide whether it is the relationship we want to pursue. Learn and remember his name and greet him by name during your next encounter. (General Questions!)

2) Casual Friendship

One-on-one "getting to know you" time. Friendship focuses on the common interests, activities and concerns. It is important to discover each other's strengths and weaknesses, hopes and problems. Affirmation, encouragement and appreciation are shared amongst. Be honest and trustworthy. (Personal Questions!)

3) Close Friendship (Fellowship)

Reflects oneness of spirit. Both person share the same life goals, plans, problems, deepest thoughts and feelings with each other based on the trust that has been gained at earlier levels of friendship. Based on mutual attraction and desire to spend more time together.

4) Intimate Friendship

Based on a commitment to generously invest in one another's live with the goal of helping each other mature in Godly character. Honesty, humility and discretion are required at this stage of friendship. Friends have freedom to correct one another and point out each other's blind spots. It is is in the level of "I'll always be there for you".

A flower will not grow without water and sunshine. The same is true for friendship. Once you have a growing friendship, take good care of it.

Most of the time, I always wonder that which level of friendship I'm engaging, with every different friends. The one I think might not be the same with what he / she think. The signals might be interrupted or bent, or he / she might interpreted the meaning far different from mine.

These level of friendship are not always obvious. I mean, sometimes we wouldn't know we actually reached the level of close friendship even if we knew each other for only 2 weeks or 2 months. The length of period does not prove everything. I might know you for 5 years but we are just hi-bye friend. Nothing much than this.

In a friendship, how much should I give and how much should I expect to take? Completely 100% efforts from each other? Or 50-50, like I buy you a chocolate and you give the same-value chocolate back to me too?

This is not easy. I'm still on the way discovering the real insights of friendships.

Anyway, friends, I appreciate every moment of our friendships.

Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik

I had a happy Sunday, two days before the National Day. The traffic wasn't too packed from KL =) Take care people!