够了

放弃
只因为爱得太深
爱太深
才对自己没把握
要用放弃做赌注
输了
只因为对方不够爱你





I give up,
because I love too deeply..
And datz y,
I don't trust on mysef..
So I bet in dis way,
Finally,
I lose the bet,
because you don't love me, enough..












够了，一切都够了，
我跟自己说：
就算了吧。。

29 July 08 Tuesday



Sometimes.. I wan to act strong..
Sometimes.. I..

Just cant..







我放手了，他..........的心受伤了..

他放手了, 我..........又舍不得了..











Am I wrong?

有时候，到了某种程度，人就会体会到〖欲哭无泪】的感觉，到了那种境界，往往都不是能够想象的。。



我很想哭，但泪腺似乎不听我的话，我不想哭的时候，我想逞强的时候，它，总是从我的脸颊划过，在夜深人静，我情绪起伏最严重的时候，很莫名其妙的，我却哭不出来，〖心】和〖泪】这次的默契就值得考量了。。



一直以来，面对问题时，往往我们都试着逃避，从来不敢真正的去面对，一切的一切，似乎都是我们不认输的借口，一切的一切，似乎是我们不想失去什么的理由。。



也许，我说的一切，看起来好像太过于理智，超乎我应有的情绪和想法。。
也许，你根本无法接收我现在的任何说法。。
也许，你根本不想听我的这些【烂理由】。。
也许，你认为我在假惺惺。。
也许。。



【对不起〗

sad or happy? [emo]

27 July 08 Sunday

今天，我做了一个，一个我一直不敢做的决定，一个我觉得我不会做的决定，一个谁也意想不到的决定。。这件事，在我心里徘徊了很久，真的很久,也不是第一次向他提出了，我们也挣扎了多时，今天，一切的一切，都告一段落了。。

我挣扎了一天，
漫长的一天，
我开口了,真的开口了。。
我要求分手了，
我要求分开了，
我真的这么做了。。

我告诉他，
我想要停止一切的一切，
我要这一切的一切，不是难过的分离。。
我只是想过一个人的生活，
你没有错，
我也没有错,
是时间来的不合适。。

他，
从来没给我机会好好地说，
我一直尝试寻找机会，
我想回到单身的生活,
我要过一个人的生活，
一直到mama批准，
一直到我想嫁为止，
我累了，
不想再为恋爱有所寄托。。

人，不应该因为爱而受约束，
爱，更不应该受到约束,
爱，更不应该去约束他想要的，
爱，也不会去计较你会得到什么。。
爱，不应该用计算机去算，
不应该用秤去衡量,
爱，没有方程式，
爱，没有重量，长度，宽度。。

爱，不一定是拥有,
爱，
我也不懂。。

每个人都说，
"he is a good boyfriend"
他们都叫我珍惜，
我没有吗？

谢谢你，
我知道我一直都在伤害你，
一直以来，
就只有你在付出，
我知道，
我算不了什么，
你不接收我的谢谢，
你甚至没有向我追问，
也许你也累了，
也许你讨厌我了。。

我想，
我是自私的，
因为我自己想要的，
因为我不想了，
可是，我只是想让自己好过。。
他们说：
“爱情是自私的”
他们说：
“我们自私，是为了保护自己”
对不起，
我没做到我对你的承诺。。

在一起的29个月
整整29个月
昨晚还没事，今天。。
你一定觉得莫名其妙吧。。
我也只有说谢谢。。
我会记得每一天。。





我告别了恋爱
告别了负担
从此就是一个人
单身的生活，也许我会喜欢，也许我会害怕，
也许，到了最后，我才后悔，
到最后，才发现你的好，
但，单身可以让我从中知道你更好吧。。
你不一定得把事情看得那么悲观，
也许过后我们会成长得更多，看得更远，
不是吗？




“有一天，
天爱上了海，
可是空气阻隔了他们，
他们无法相爱，
天哭了，
泪水落在海里，
即使不能相爱，
天也要把灵魂寄托给海。。”

单身女孩～1

[Single but not available]

24 July 08 Thursday

1 more day~ Did many things but din touch BOOK at all [except do de IT quiz].. Feel much guilty but stil de same.. [>.<]

"ever thine

ever mine

ever ours"

Love and Friendship
and Sex

*Friendship exists when there is Love
*Love exists when there is Friendship
*Sex exists after Love
*Love exists after Sex

[Love and Sex must exist together]
[I don't know]

*hey gurls, keep your beauty when you stil having it.. Don't wait until it was too late..
*hey gurls, 40 is just a start of your life..
*hey gurls, MAN doesn't mean everything..
*hey gurls, you can live without man!!
*hey gurls, you need FRIENDS, LOVE, SEX, FAMILY, and MONEY!!


*hey guys, don't waste my time when you are wasting your time..
*hey guys, please think many times before you do something that will hurt the gurl..
*hey guys, please love the gurl with your heart if you do really love the gurl..
*hey guys, gurls are not FOOL!!
*hey guys, please give me what I want!!

~miss~

First Try~

22 July 08 Tuesday

Today, I have done a BIG TRY dat I nvr imagine~

I speak at de [lectern]~

I speak in front of about [30 people]~

I speak with a [mic]~

yea I [SPEAK]~

I nvr done this before~ I nvr talk in front of so many people before~ I nvr tried~ and I don't dare to do so [of corz]~

Jane had chosen me a week before this~

Victor pointed at me a week before this~

I said: Wei Wei speak, I speak~

and I told Victor: I need time to prepare, MENTALLY~

[yea, it's true, U will nvr know how much de courage I need to talk in front of so many people, how much is de struggle between DO n Not DO, how much de CELL I killed in my brain to ask myself to speak]

I [PREPARE] my speech the nite before~

I [REHEARSE] many times the nite before~

I [RECORD] my voice many times the nite before~

I [WORY] so much the nite before~

It's my SHOW TIME after all~

I was so COLD at the moment~

I was shivering all the way of my speech~

I don't dare to look at the eyes of any~

I tried not to make the audience fall asleep~

I tried to lenghten my speech as possible~

I tried to finish it as fast as I can~

AND finally, my speech, FINISHED~

[with the claps]

*my SMILE

*my VOICE

*my SPEED [was too fast, and I need to pause]

I had learned thingS today~

If I nvr tried today, and I wont get the FEELINGs today [mayb FOREVER]~

I nvr regret to have a try today~

Im [a bit proud of myself] to have the courage to SPEAK in front~

Im [a bit proud of myself] dat I can hide my nervous from U all [mayb U observed dat]..

* yea, Im [proud of myself]~

* U will never get dis [nice] SCENE if U never come here..

[somewhere behind the SENATE CONFERENCE ROOM, and it is actualy facing the REJAB there]

nice scene rite?

[watch it with ur heart,

and U may find out sth special]

Rojak~

22 July 08 Tuesday

~Nite~ 10.36pm
I suppose to read my IT chapter12 now and go n do my quiz12 before friday is coming [BUT] I jz duno y I ended my whole nite here also~ FINAL is coming soon and my DEATH DAY is coming also, [but] I stil like keep hanging all around [online, blogzz, crapzz, gossipSS, Facebook-ING].. I do nth much, yea I wasted all my time [dis few days].. And I go to my bed when de needle of de clock showing 3am in de morning.. [I shudnt be slept so late, as my eyes bag n panda eyes getting serious-ING, ishhhh]..

~Morning~ 10.08am
yea, today was having a Toastmaster Executive Committee Meeting at 10am.. And de time was showing 10am [n I still sitting in de bus].. de sky getting darker n darker.. N de BIG DROP of WATER [rain] started to drop down from de sky.. Luckily I reached college at de time when de rain was jz started to pour..

No, I'm not LATE [anyway].. Not every1 reach on time [a-ha]..
And now only I know we can use de CEO MEETING ROOM to conduct a meeting [altho Im not a CEO].. haha, mayb I will bcum a CEO [next time]..
* I realy LOVE de way Dr.Lim speak.. I realy do admire her very much.. [mayb I HOPE to bcum like her ONE DAY, a successful CEO n speak very well]..

~more to Afternoon~ [bout 12pm]
V go for lunch at OLDTOWN [again].. I ate DRY CURRY BIHUN MEE , n it was totaly 'beh jia'.. [I duno y, MAYB I choose a wrong thing to eat >.<]

And v go McD for 2nd round.. [ice cream, french fries, nuggets].. duno how many times I eat all dis stuffs in a week~

[helping them to do promotion]

*recently, I found dat I bcum more n more like to EAT.. I can eat a lot [realy a lot, far far a lot].. De quantity of FOOD is doubled~ De quantity of MEALS is doubled~ And finally.. my WEIGHT [of corz not doubled lar] is getting more~ my body shape~ [ha-ha, also duno how to describe]..

~Evening~ 4pm
After [struggling] for quite a few weeks, and finally de ENG120 assignment research paper is COMPLETED~ I feel so guilty to WEIWEI n PEKSHEE bcoz I do not help much for dat.. Mayb de last minute help do not help much~ >.<

*De research paper is successfully printed out~ and it is de BABY [of love??] of ME n WEIWEI~ It meets trouble when it was delivered.. It was so cute n 'bai bai pang pang' de.. We love our BABY~ haha.. [It is now with de baby-sitter>>Ms Tan, and I hope our assignment get a gud marks for it]..

[Don't U think BABY is cute?]

[haha, every1 loves BABY rite..]

* "Do Not Judge A Book By Its Cover"
yea, sometimes it's realy hard to c thru a person real face IF YOU DO NOT KNOW THEM WELL.. so, PLZ do not trust a person so easily before u get to know them more..

[Plz take off ur MASK n

show me ur TRUE COLOR]

*yea I crap~ [my blog was dead for quite a few days, den now I crap a lot now]